One morning having a quiet time in the back of my car, thinking about God, a poem very readily popped into my head, so I wrote it down.
People have Real Problems
"Some people have real problems
My tainted mind isn’t scarred
I have full use of legs and arms
I can walk unafraid in night’s dark
No past life has left its ghastly mark
Two parents still lovingly together
Who raised my 10 sibs to love each other
A car that works, a job for the bills
Food for a week and a closet filled
Some people have real problems
Nothing I have or don’t is worth my complaint
Little ills, challenges, and spills needn’t make me faint.
Good grief!
Some people have REAL problems!
Lord, would You please afix my attitude
To respond to life with unfeigned gratitude
And grant me graceful eyes to view
Those with the biggest problem:
Not knowing You.
Continue, Lord; I’ve seen You in this way work
Grant me Thy reach to those lost in the murk
Not my care, but Yours be seen
And take my foolish eyes off of me
Some people have real problems."
Hmm, I thought to myself, I don't know that I really struggle with thinking my problems are bigger than they truly are, but it's kind of a cool poem.
Ha. God is so great! He knows the future and knows me better than I know me.
One of my big favorite sections at work got permanently assigned to another person, and I was reassigned to another section with seemingly less responsibility where, supposedly, I can be able to learn more. My mind was pretty emotional about the change most of that day, especially since most of my work was still over in my old beloved section. I recalled how I had felt like a manager over this sub-department. I recalled the very day my boss had come over and said, "As far as me and the other manager are concerned, this is yours." I recalled all the little tedious repetitive tasks that I loved how they made me feel useful and satisfied with my work. I recalled last time they gave this section away and the bitterness in my heart and then thrilled heart when they gave it back. The same bitterness now began to slash its way back ino my mind. All these thoughts swirling set my nerves on edge and drove tears into my eyes. I knew I couldn't be a good salesperson in this mood. I grumpily tried to hurry through my tasks in that area and also hold onto the last chances I had to work over there.
Then God reminded me. "Hey, Janelle, remember that poem that you wrote and posted to the girls on Kingdom Pen who you want to encourage and exemplify a life lived fully for Me?"
Yeah... Oh, you mean the poem about how "some people have real problems"?
When I wrote that poem, I didn't understand why it had come so easily. Haha, now I do. Being upset that my bosses took charge over their department and wanted to expand my experiences is so so silly! It's their department. Sure, yes, I loved that old section. One coworker jokingly called it my "baby" since I was always over there caring for it. Even the big boss has expressed his appreciation for my work over there. Yes, I was (and am) clenching my teeth to say it's fine with me to switch sections. But, really, it's my bosses' department. They make the call on who goes where and takes care of what. It's fine. It's fine.
On my lunch break, I knew I need to sort all this out. Surrender it to God. And walk away. So I wrote a new poem.
Idols
"My God is not an idol
And idols shan't be my King
This devastated heart of mine
Ah! I'm such a broken thing!
Silly poetess, concern thyself and pen
With worthy poems composed of praise for Him
This idle care you've never thus rhymed
Its ties must've cased your heart
I know it so because now it's gone
And you grieve as though is smarts
Your selfish flesh cries over its grave
Yet your Christian side praises God it's away
A new space is made
For the work of the Lord
New dragons to slay
New growth to occur
Ah, silly poetess, weep not for loss 'unfair'
But open your eyes to the Lord working while you're there
You never know,
This new adventure out on which you slog to set
It might just turn out to be the very best one yet."
That's what I want to remember as I go into this new section and learn these new things and explore new adventures, advancing in what God has given me and surrendering what is no more mine. Hmm, the Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
My dear reader, I just wanted you to know I'm still silly much of the time. I'm still learning things. And the Lord is still teaching me. Just because I have a blog and have taught at a conference doesn't mean I've reached perfection or anything like that.
"Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect,
but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.
Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet;
but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,
I press on
toward the goal for the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."
Philippains 3:12-14
